There is something about being seen, I mean truly seen. I have encountered more and more friends and family that truly see me and inspire me to be me. It is so powerful when you share something and someone can relate to you, it reminds you that you aren’t alone and that is a liberating feeling. I also enjoy being seen because I take pride in being attentive and attuned to others, a trait inherited from my Mum. I will often ask people “how are you really” to get beyond the surface “I’m fine” to what (if anything) is really bothering them. That desire to go beyond the surface is why people are often drawn to speak to me in public, I give off the energy of someone ready to hear your venting because I too see you. But getting to this place of self awareness and understanding didn’t happen overnight.
Growing up I was adaptable, I had to be. Moving city (and continent) and making new friends was the norm so I quickly developed a skill for fitting in. I was able to conform to the people around me and I noticed that different people would see different sides of myself. Being able to switch up isn’t necessarily a bad thing but care should be taken not to lose yourself. I became so adept at putting on all these different hats looking back now I can almost watch myself in my minds’ eye as if I were an actor performing new roles daily. It was weird because although I was aware of it on some level back then, I only fully noticed it when a close friend that saw me in different circles pointed it out.
In a recent heart to heart with friends I came to the realisation that this is a year of discovering and displaying my true self. It’s an amalgamation of all the roles I’ve played rather than simply one character but with the mixing I can’t help but fear judgement. It feels like the world we live in does not understand or can’t accept nuance. People want things to be black or white when sometimes they are grey. I know there is an image of me that some people may have and at the same time I know that being my true self will cause those same people consternation as they struggle to reconcile my differing characteristics. But again I finally understand, that is not my problem. One of the things you have to learn is your happiness and contentment is important and it is vital to not sacrifice it for other people. Too often we fail to exist as our authentic selves because of the fear of others opinions’ but I am here to remind you they don’t matter. You can’t live for anyone other than yourself. Is it important to have values you live by? Yes. Should you be held accountable to them? Of course but you can only be held accountable by people that truly know you and your character. Everyone has an opinion and because of how connected the world seems through Social media there is an ever growing issue of over familiarity. Remember, followers don’t equal friends, sometimes even your ‘friends’ aren’t really your friends. Be careful whose opinions you measure yourself and therefore live by because you can’t make everyone happy so just focus on you.
Peace and Love,
Aharoun the Author